I hope you take a long walk off a short pier! yes thats how fucking pissed i am at you :-)

oh yeah and ur pathetic


world population over 6 billion someone i knows world population 2! way to be a fucking loser

I had an awesome night... getting to go back to the basketball games and spending time with the guys! its an awesome feeling... we always have so much fun! plus we have so many great memories! basketball season has to be my favorite time of the year! we have great guys, a great team, and a great time! i wouldnt wanna do anything other then basketball! when this season is over its going to be sooooooo sad its going to be the saddest one yet... because now we are starting to lose the guys that we do have a closeness too! like AJ he has got to be the sweetest guy and we are going to lose him! its sad him and webby and leyon and schmitty and bell its sad

not to leave out the NEXT season is going to be the WORST we are all going to cry like little babies the thought of not having basketball to come to in dec. will kill me

basketball isnt a game its a way of life! uh huh thats right!

[a]ge: 16
[b]irthday: 8/18/87
[c]andies: Reese's peanut butter cups
[d]rinking favs: wine coolers
[e]ducation at: East Stroudsburg High School South
[f]ind me at: E.Stroudsburg
[g]um flavor: anything other then mint... its so boring
[h]oliday(s): Christmas
[i]ce-cream: chocolate chip and cookie dough or pb
[j]ob: The Christmas Factory
[k]ind of music: all
[l]ook like: tall brown hair blue eyes?
[m]ood: all mood usually
[n]ationality: german and itlian
[o]ringinally from: pa
[p]ersonality: outgoing and loud...very scracisic
[q]uote liked:wish i never laid eyes on u but i did
[r]adio station favored: MAX 106.3....
[s]ports liked: hmmm just one? football and basketball mostly
[t]v shows: everwood, one tree hill
[u]ndercover life: hmmm it wouldnt be undercover if i told you now would it?.
[v]isually appealed to: tallness
[w]orking on: my life
[x]tra specialness: i have no clue.
[y]ear of birth: 1987
[z]odiac sign: Leo the strongest of all signs

You're Most Like The Season Spring ...

Fresh faced, with a young outlook on life - you
smile at the world and expect it to smile back
at you. You're mostly a bubbly, fun - innocent
person. Described as cute possibly. However,
you're a little naive about things and tend to
be a little too trustworthy.
As the first season, It Makes you the youngest -
and so most immature - but people are inclined
to look out for and protect you.

Well done... You're the most fun of the seasons :)


?? Which Season Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla




Your soul is bound to the Rose Bud: The
Naive.

"I keep all of my secrets somewhere inside
and though I haven't let myself shine to the
world, I'm good for something but too good to
give to you."

The Rose Bud is associated with innocence,
curiosity, and confidence. It is governed by
the god Cupid and its sign is The Dewdrop, or
Puppy Love.

As a Rose Bud, you may have grand ideas about love
and you may well be inexperienced. You tend to
be optomistic, idealistic, and curious, but
it's just because you like being a positive
person. You also may have high thoughts of
yourself, and can come off a bit conceited, but
it's just a mask to hide your lack of
experience.


What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?
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You represent... kindness.
You're a very gentle, kind, and caring individual.
You truely care about people and are generally
well-liked. Though sometimes you may be
perceived as weak, you truely have a strong
heart and a good desire to help others.


What feeling do you represent?
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cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed


What Sign of Affection Are You?
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You're just the happy go-lucky type. You might have
your pet peeves, but other than that, you're
mainly calm. Blending in with your
surroundings, you're the type of person who
everyone likes. Usually it's you who cracks
jokes at social gatherings - after all,
laughter is the best medicine. Sometimes you
pretend to be stupid, but in all actuality, you
could be the next Einstein.


What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla



Hercules


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
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ultamate Goddes. You rule over all and everything.
In most cases you are peaceful but have a
temper wich you use only for defending people


What beutiful goddess are you?(with anime pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla



Your Heart is Red


What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla



borderline


Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla



You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.


What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Moderate
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	High

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test


ahhh i didnt read what any of it meant yet so ... hopefully its not all bad?


The direct approach has never worked for you. Instead, you like to charm guys by infiltrating their own territory and getting to know them in their own environment -- like Sigourney Weaver in Gorillas in the Mist, but with beer instead of bananas. The strategy is to make yourself indispensable -- be one of the guys, make jokes, be fun to hang around with, and avoid the games girls play as much as you can.

However, you're well acquainted with the danger of being one of the guys. It's that you can easily become...one of the guys. Watch out for that -- make sure people know there are breasts under that Celtics jersey. "Women like this create intimacy through what I like to call the buddy system," says Catherine Cardinal, PhD, author of The Ten Commandments of Relationships (Andrews McMeel, 2000). "You give the feeling of being in this together -- whether 'this' is a difficult situation you want to get out of, like a parking ticket, or something great, like your marriage." But when buddying up means you're not taken seriously, learn when to assert yourself. "Never underestimate the power of touch," Cardinal says. "A well-timed squeeze of the arm, pat on the shoulder, or hug reminds people that you're a force to be reckoned with. A female force."

Think Cameron Diaz. She's the queen of the burping contest, yet she knows when to glam it up, and nobody ever forgets she's a girl -- because she doesn't forget it, either.


(hehe do you think thats me? you know the deal IM me and tell me what you think)

so of course as normal i was told to write in my journal! well i had like a 10 min. convo with joe tonight bc it is his birthday! and yeah omg i miss him soo much now... he is like the sweetest guy i know... i wanna be with him... like together ... like boyfriend girlfriend but he lives so far away and he isnt really like that... i kinda think he is anti-girl... i wanna believe that i could change that! maybe ill call him again or something and see how things go... i mean i will get my car in march and then ill be able to drive and see him!

hmmm im hoping that everything went back to normal with ashley... really she is the last person i wanna lose out of my life!

this long enough?

FORGET EVERYTHING I HAVE SAID....all i had to do is hear Joe's voice and now im the happiest person... so forget everything andy anything... im just happy

i would rather DIE

I wish I could believe you ... But I don't ...hmmm


oh yeah and I always have a really bad feeling ahhh

so yea i think everyone would just be happier if i werent in their life. it seems like i am just this lost cause and i have never felt like this before i have alway been the happy go lucky girl but now all i can think about is the loneliness and sadness. what got me here is the big question on my mind because everything going on in my life now has happened before. maybe its because i have an eating disorder? well thats what some people think i have but i dont think i do... i think its just because im so depressed and stressed that everytime i look at food i feel like throwing up.

have you ever felt like you have hit rock bottom just to realize its going to get worse? well thats my life right now... i want it to stop!

i really thought that my junior year was going to be the best and about 2 months ago i would have told you that everything was going great but now i just cant say that ... i need time to think... i need to time to find out whats going on in my mind and how much i really want some things and maybe get the harmful shit out of my life

i wanna believe you i REALLY do like you dont understand HOW MUCH i wanna believe you .... i just dont think that right now i can

For some reason people dont understand that i am ugly and fat... i dont see how people couldnt understand that because its sooooooooooooooooooo true.

last night i stayed at ashley's house! we were scared out of our minds by a noise ... it was a horrible noise... the one that make you scared bc it could have come from anything so we freaked out and ryan thought we were stupid for freaking out but we could have died u know? but yea we were on the phone with ryan for about 3 hours mostly about random things... and what a mean person i am lol i guess i am mean tho its my personality

and we played life and moods...moods is one good game! funny as hell! "whats ur size?"

ashley has the sweetest thing in her subprofile about me let me show you...

And well... like I always say it will always work out in the end... and if it doesnt, its not the end

i think its sooooooooo sweet.... i love her sooooooooooo much!

DESCRIBE YOUR
Wallet: jean with a cherry on it...
Jewelry: my earrings,necklace,rings. and watch
Underwear: white with fruit
Shoes: Roxy- Blue and gray saucony
Handbag: jean that says Aroepostale on it... it matches my wallet
Favorite top: sweaters in general
Favorite pants: no favorites really...maybe the old ones i can fit in again
CD in stereo right now: a mix
Piercings: one in each ear
What you are wearing now: my jeans and red work shirt and gray aero swearshirt
Makeup: cover up and lip gloss
Thing that you are deathly afraid of?:dying
Do you like candles: sometimes
incense: eww no all i think of is drugs when i heard incense
Do you believe in love: yeah
Do you believe in soul mates: yes
Do you believe in God: yes
Who is your worst enemy?: i have many

When was the last time you
LAUGHED? ashley
CRIED? when i was pissed off about the whole thing (ABC)
BOUGHT SOMETHING? an hour ago
DANCED? who knows. lol.
LAST SONG YOU HEARD? come away with me
LAST THING YOU HAD TO DRINK?root beer
LAST TIME YOU SHOWERED: this morning
LAST THING YOU ATE? chinese

DO YOU...
DO DRUGS? nope
LIVE IN THE MOMENT? depends
SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS? no but I have a lot of them
HAD A DREAM THAT KEEPS COMING BACK? yep
PLAY AN INSTRUMENT? no.
BELIEVE THERE IS LIFE ON OTHER PLANETS? no
REMEMBER YOUR FIRST LOVE? yes
STILL LOVE THEM? no i have come to realize he isnt worth the trouble
READ THE NEWSPAPER? sometimes
HAVE ANY GAY OR LESBIAN FRIENDS? yes
BELIEVE IN MIRACLES? yes
HAVE A FAVORITE CANDY? reese's
BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY? yes
BELIEVE IN MAGIC? umm i guess... not like magicians though
TALK TO STRANGERS WHO IM YOU? only if they tell me who they are
HAVE AN OBSESSION? yes
HAVE A SECRET CRUSH? yes
COLLECT ANYTHING? i dont believe so
HAVE A BEST FRIEND? yeah
WISH ON STARS? yes

FAVORITE
food: cheese fries
drink: cherry coke and juice
color: light colors and black
album: John Mayer
shoes: my lands end ones
site: www.johnmayer.com
song: um my new fav song is wonderwall cause its sorta sad
vegetable: corn
fruit: apples, grapes, and/or watermelon
last movie you saw: maid in manhatthan

Last
person you hugged: jeff
person you kissed: im so not answering that
thing you said: what was the last thing i said to you?
person you talked to online: ryan

Do you....
have any pets: no :(
go to or plan to go to college: yep
have a degree: nope..
have a "hot spot": wouldnt u like to know ;-)
believe in witches: yes
trust others easily: I tend to, but its getting harder to trust people

Have you ever...
Fallen for your best friend?: yes
Made out w/ JUST a friend: no
Been rejected?: yea
Been in love?: yea
Been in lust?: yea
Used someone?: i have heard i am right now
Been kissed?: yeah
Color your hair? highlighed?
Own a webcam? nope
Habla espanol? i can hi and how are you
Done drugs? nope
Any regrets? yes
If so, what? we wont go there

Which song reminds you of:
love: Rinse
your first love: Foolish by Ashanti
your best friend: The Friends theme song
someone you liked but never told: a song my hilary duff
someone you've lost: Foolish
someone you want: Wonderwall
someone you need: Friends theme song

have to work today... i feel better after talking to ryan stress level decreased a little... ahhhh work :-\

i would like to believe you

i wish i could believe i REALLY wish i could...

today I went to school like normal then quickly Ryan covinced us to hang out...Well he didn't really have to convince us but anyways lol...We went to cash my check t hen to the Christmas factory ( where is STILL work ahhh wish I would have been fired) then to k-mart and home.

tomorrow we are all supposed to hang out but of course Jeff cant come and I don't know any other guy to go with so now im not even sure if ill be going ... I guess its better if I dont go anyways because they need "alone" time and IM sure they get tired of seeing me but its all good I guess. Cant say that I really feel comfortable anyhow... Its like Ashley, Ryan and then Me plus I really don't think he cares if he hangs out with me he more or less just wants to be with her...(sorry if im wrong but that's the vibes I get)

You want others to keep their distance. If you're lucky, maybe you'll get all the space you need. Remember this decision once you're tired of isolation and wonder why everyone is ignoring you. (my horoscope from today...Kind seems true but I never ever like to be isolated)

and my extended horoscope: (its really true like dead on you could say)

The people who know you best can tell that you're holding back, but you're just getting used to your new surroundings. As soon as you feel more comfortable, you'll go right back to being your usual, jovial self. Take as much time as you need to get oriented, but know that being in a new situation doesn't necessarily have to be such a scary experience. If you have the opportunity to take something familiar with you on this journey, by all means, do so.


I have a feeling I'm either going to be stabbed in the back or lied too... Either or ... Maybe even both?? lol hmmmmm that sucks for me

who should I like? I need someone to like!

I am such a jealous person damn never thought I was this bad... hmmm maybe I could change it? I hope so but yeah I don't think it will ever change... ahhhh you would think I would be stress free... But really im not! Stress level is up and if it wasn't for my bestest friend named Cha Cha I think I would go into a nerves break down! Scary huh?

Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now

Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now

And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
I don't know how

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day
But they'll never throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you're not to do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now

And all the roads that lead to you were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
I don't know how

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me?
And after an
You're my wonderwall

Said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me
(wonderwall by oasis)

yeah its been stuck in my head since last night on the way home... its a good song i think im starting to like that type of music... dont know what you would call it

Best Friends ALWAYS better than Boy Friends! (i hope)

S O M E T I M E S

Sometimes...when you cry...no one sees your tears.

Sometimes...when you are in pain...no one sees your hurt.

Sometimes...when you are worried...no one sees your stress.

Sometimes...when you are happy...no one sees your smile.

thats a good quote dont you think?

today was fun like normal after school hung out with ashley and ryan... we chilled went back to his house then to walmart and all that fun stuff... also i think my stress level has gone down since telling him... plus he is being really cool about it which im so thankful for because he really is a good friend!

now from what i hear jeff likes me... and about 2 months ago i would have been like YAY im so happy... i dont know why im not like that now ... i liked him for forever! like i dont remember a time when i wasnt like yay jeff ... but as normal everyone said that after i stoped liking him he would like me and guess what? it happened :-\ i guess i could try it he is really sweet and all .... but yea

i think im changing

ALL I HAVE TO SAY TO YOU IS GO FUCK YOURSELF.... ahhhh i cant believe you said that about me .. i have been nothing but good to you ... probably too damn good... but what ever

ahhh the stressed life... i dont know what the hell it is but everytime i see food or eat it i feel like throwing up and its been like this since like b4 halloween... i think its pathetic like i have never been like this b4 but maybe i have never been so stressed and confused b4 either ... hopefully im losing weight because of this though!

i think its time to just give up on everything

I CANT LIKE HIM... I WONT LIKE HIM... sometimes i think i really dont like him he isnt my type and other times its like he is everything i want in a guy

and gordo...just isnt working anymore i dont know why i guess im getting really really conceited and i think that i need better ...

went out tonight... with ashley jeff and ryan (aka ry ry)... we went to the mall (as normal) then to mr z's then to perkins then to walmart then home... it was fun but we always have to be home so early ... dont get much done by 6:30

i still feel sick i wonder why though .... my life has gotten a little less confusing but still i dont know ahhhh not fun

i dont eat much anymore everytime i look at food i feel like throwing up... i dont know why maybe bc i wanna be pretty and skinny like ashley hmmm i guess ill never know

im finally realizing that walter was a huge mistake...oh well but yeah i wish i would have never dated him

yeah so jody reads my journal thats fun lol

HAHAHAHAHAHA I LOVE YOU ASHLEY I LOVE YOU HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

i am writing again ... i dont know why but i am

so first things first...ill update you on Person S...he is no more i guess... he is just a really good friend.. thank god he confirmed that we were friends bc i was worried that we werent... but he is really nice but he is better for her... much better for her i guess... ill just let things happen and ill go back to gordo he always has a special spot in my heart for some reason... dont know why

so i want him and her to be happy together


he makes me smile too but its just bc he is so damn funny

ive had this stomach ache for almost a week now ... i dont know why but i have haha

i might try out of color guard im not sure bc i really like basketball too

tomorrow jakey plays north! and he will kick ass! uh huh lol bc i love him


I MISS JOE!

IM BACK TO POINT A AGAIN! AHHHHH I DONT WANNA BE.... IM STUPID